Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
