the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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