yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
