My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
If that was your dad, he is hot
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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