I want to have your abortion
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize