I puked a lego.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
