remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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