Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
