I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Buhtt sex?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I FOUND THE LEGS
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