Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
