just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
