break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
