stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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