That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
