There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
