i dont even know how to be here
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
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Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
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He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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