During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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