why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
