They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
