I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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