i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
