I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I am available for nakedness
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
