I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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