talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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