Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
