Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
