Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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