Yo dont text me then not text me
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
