so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
