I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
