just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
