why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
