It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
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