Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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