Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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