i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
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