That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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