what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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