This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
