Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
