How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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