I wish I could teleport
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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