____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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