I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Girls should come with a carfax report
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
