Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
