areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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