Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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