walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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