She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
