Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
