I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize