she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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