his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
