i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
50% drunk capacity currently
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
