i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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