PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
