I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
