Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
