I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
