I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
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