Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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