i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
