the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize