My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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