No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
