Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
