Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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