i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
